PROC SQL running

Oh hey, internet

• me: woo hoo!
• the word was gossip
• which was stupid
• Nate: oh yeah
• i already got that one actually
• me: I drew a lizard doing a wheely on a motorcycle
• so you definitely would've gotten it
• _____________________________________________
• Because the internet always needs more nonsense.

Young Man Yells At Cloud: April Employment Report Shows A Decrease in Primate Sector Jobs

The end of everything will be televised

• me: so normally I would tell you that I'm really busy and probably shouldn't be chatting while I'm at work
• but I'm pretty sure that I'm getting fired today
• Brandi: shut up
• what
• me: haha yeah
• Brandi: no you're not
• WHY
• me: well, it's kind of a long story
• I didn't do anything wrong or anything
• it's not like a character issue
• it's just... before me, this company had never hired someone directly out of college before
• which, at the time, was sweet. It made me feel really special and important
• but it put a ton of stress on me, because there's a shit ton of expectations
• being client-facing and what not
• Brandi: yeah
• but they'd fire you over this?
• me: I guess the best way to explain it is, in college, you're allowed to get like 10-15% of your work wrong, and that's totally acceptable
• you still get a B, A minus, and that's great
• Brandi: Yeah
• me: but in consulting, when you get 10-15% of your work wrong...
• Brandi: :(
• me: I mean, you put something that's wrong in front of your client...
• then it starts to cost the company money
• so
• Brandi: yeah.. that's a no no
• me: I don't know that I've actually cost the company money
• but I have made errors
• and they're well-known
• so I think it's getting to the point where they're starting to view me less as an asset, and more as a liability
• Brandi: why do you believe you're getting fired today?
• me: almost any other company in the world would be able to view my errors and flaws as freshman mistakes of a 23 year old kid
• Brandi: yeah
• me: well, I've not really had any projects or anything on my plate for the last week or so
• and the reports that are mine, that I developed and ran, just got handed over to my co-worker yesterday
• I spent about an hour training him on how to run those
• Brandi: ugh
• me: they've officially taken me off of my main client
• and they've not told me what my client / project is
• that, and my boss scheduled a 4: 30 meeting with me today
• Brandi: :(
• me: and 4:30 meetings are basically like... I'm going to hang out while you pack up your stuff and let you out of the building so that you don't have to come back tomorrow and do it
• Brandi: aw ben
• me: so, that's worst case scenario
• Brandi: i'm really sorry to hear all of this
• me: yeah, it's a bummer
• nobody enjoys failing
• especially when I had so much to gain from this job
• it really was a dream-come-true to be here
• I've had nothing but exceptional experiences, and I've learned SO much
• my resume looks even more awesome than it did before, and I had a lot of momentum going into this
• Brandi: well maybe it's not so bad
• me: it's not
• because, to be honest with you Brandi
• this job has been the ONLY positive in my life since I moved here
• I hate living here
• I don't have any friends
• my co-workers are great, but they're all too old to hang out
• I'm miserably lonely
• it's been a major struggle just to keep myself entertained when I'm not in the office
• Brandi: :(
• It makes sense
• me: and on top of that, I've had a ton of anxiety of not being able to keep this job
• Brandi: I sort of got that vibe from you a little bit
• me: so, it'll kind of be a relief for it just to be over
• so that's the silver lining
• ___________________________________________________
• All good things come to an end. Update forthcoming.

• me: haha that is so stupid
• that you've gone almost 23 years and no one has done anything special for you on V-Day?
• Brandi: My momma sent me chocolates, haha.
• me: UGGGGGGGGHHHHHH
• Brandi: I'm not helping my case any
• What are all the UGHS for!
• me: ugh.
• Brandi: It's not that big of a deal.
• me: Because you can't be the only one
• you can't be
• there have to be hundreds of other girls like you out there who are being mistreated
• (yeah, I said it. Mistreated)
• Brandi: Haha
• me: And here I am sitting at home all alone on the weekend like a sucker
• Brandi: Girls with guys that won't do anything for them on Valentine's day?
• me: yeah!
• Brandi: Blah
• me: life is just not fair
• Brandi: I don't even know.
• me: cruel fate.
• __________________________________